Wilton Meeting is growing through a period of change. Our outward forms, such as our committee structure and handbook, are being subjected to formal and informal re-examination in light of new vitalities that test our conventions. While the effort to keep traditions can be a burden at times, the influx of love and energies that don't fit within any pre-scribed labels can only be regarded as good news.
"We see growth, more young families, many of them interested in learning more about Friends, which led to a large number attending Seekers sessions, which led to more people desiring to attend similar sessions. Many of the original group wanted to continue other spiritual growth and sense of community. So there is this impetus for further growth in the Meeting."
"People want spiritual growth. They want to know what Quakerism is all about. Why can't we have weekly or bi-weekly or monthly spiritual growth meetings and sessions so that people can learn more about Quakerism? The Meeting needs to consider doing more to facilitate spiritual growth."
The Meeting is often confronted with an urge to "do more" to bring about spiritual growth. Many, however, tend to view growth as being largely self-taught and communicated gradually through discernment. We are probably never fully prepared to deal with overt requests for "more" growth. Spiritual growth occurs in spite of words and/or study, not because of them. Moreover, spiritual growth is manifested in service to others in the community and steady discernment of the spiritual clues that exist in abundance in that community, within our Meeting and in our lives.
Having said that, it is still appropriate to facilitate Members' and Attenders' wishes for more contact with one another in a spiritual setting. There is no limit to spiritual growth; there is always something "more" to learn, more to discern. Quakers are, perhaps, distinguished among religious people for their understanding that quiet, steady action (service activity), reflection and discernment shared with those who want such sharing are all that is required for growth.
So spiritual growth continues, generally with help from Ministry and Counsel but sometimes so fast that Ministry and Counsel struggles to follow, much less to lead. An organized group of seekers, counted at one time to number seventeen, completed an Adult First Day Program on Friends' Testimonies that began in 1994 and concluded this past year with scheduled study/worship/sharing on Peace, Government and Civil Liberties, Economic Order, and Prisons and Penal Codes. Seekers in autumn 1995 planned to study such topics as mystical aspects of Quakerism, Quaker testimonies, and right sharing of the earth's resources. Adult Bible study became a planned program for 1996, and Ministry and Counsel has been called to advance further programs.
While blessed with so much active pursuit of Truth, Wilton Meeting needs help from God to greet new arrivals and foster spiritual growth as Friends have done for 350 years. From mundane concerns like maintaining a supply of "invitation to worship" leaflets, and keeping our library up-to-date with ample material for seekers and Friends of all conditions, to the higher responsibility of finding and speaking to that of God in everyone, Wilton Friends have been loving and attentive, if not perfectly effective, throughout 1995.
The world outside of meeting offers challenges and opportunities, as always. Wilton has a long and deep involvement in the Alternatives to Violence Project (including AVP training) and the Quaker Studies Program at Sing Sing prison, through the ministry of a few Wilton Friends working with other meetings. This ministry remains strong as we begin 1996 firmly rooted in the Christian tradition of loving thy neighbor.
A newer call to service, reminding many in Wilton of their unity in support of sanctuary in the recent past, has arisen through the Interfaith Ministry on Refugees: co-sponsoring a Bosnian family of refugees. Meeting formed a Wilton Friends Bosnia Relief Committee in the fourth month of 1995, and made a commitment to sponsor a refugee family from Bosnia regardless of whether other groups would participate. The Board of the Congregations for Humanistic Judaism joined Wilton as a co-sponsor on 4/25. St. Luke's Parish in Darien then joined the newly-formed Interfaith Refugee Resettlement Committee of Fairfield County which met on 4/26.
By the sixth month of 1995, the Refugee Resettlement Committee had made a formal application to receive a refugee family. Committee names and forms melted into human reality when a Bosnian father, mother and two school-aged children arrived 8/25. Wilton Meeting helped the family find housing and work and meet their basic needs, which are ongoing.
On the other side of our shrinking world, Wilton sponsored two attendants ("Send a Sister to China") at the Non-Governmental Organizations meeting in August. Both women made contributions to the gathering and continue to share their insights and experiences. The impact of that sharing reinforces the truth that issues of gender equality are worldwide and cross-cultural.
Back in Connecticut, the legislature cited Prudence Crandall, a 19th century Quaker educator, as the state's female hero. This action came about through a petition led by a young Friend and member of Wilton's First Day School.
Wilton marked the 50th anniversary of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings with participation in a local Silent Vigil. Peace and Service Committee composed and sent a letter to newspapers, legislators and other officials offering both a commemoration of the sad events of August 1945 and a reflection on the sad condition of military spending in August 1995.
Other Peace and Social Action concerns included lobbying against the death penalty, and forming a monthly letter-writing campaign with FCNL guidance. In our local community, Friends continued to cook and serve one dinner a month at a homeless shelter in Westport, took part in KidCare for AmeriCares, and shared in the Norwalk (CT) and Nagarote (Nicaragua) Sister Cities Project. Meeting was active as usual in the Wilton Interfaith Council, and in Fairfield County's Coalition for Peace and Justice, Project Learn of the Council of Churches of Greater Bridgeport, and A Better Chance (ABC) in Wilton. On a wider scale, Wilton meeting maintained its connections to United Nations activities throughout 1995.
A list of our activities could never be complete. Wilton Friends are much better at doing than at talking about what they have done; many carry on their personal ministries, locally or around the world, with a quiet concern and little visibility. Could we reach out to the local community more? Are individuals doing outreach that the meeting could know more about?
One community presence that cannot go unnoticed is the Friends Nursery School which operates in the meetinghouse. Ties between the school children, their parents and the meeting have long been central to our community relations and provide the basis for many new friendships every year; 1995 was no exception.
Much of our work in 1995 brought us into contact and cooperation with wider Friends groups, especially within New York Yearly Meeting. More people attended NYYM at Silver Bay. There is more interest in the Quarter. Let us continue to reach out in this way.
Wilton was represented at the Public Relations Primer in Scarsdale, and we remain concerned about Getting the Word Out. We responded to NYYM's call for comment on Faith and Practice early in the year, by meeting with Walter Haines. Wilton offered some thoughts on the sections concerning Covenant Relationships and Generations, and favored statements that are inclusive. In response to NYYM, Wilton Meeting approved the concept of Restorative Justice and approved the Minute with one Friendly suggestion. Also we reviewed with some energy and concern the NYYM Report on Staff Structure and approved the report after some prayer and threshing.
Our Finance Committee had a busy year, an ambitious budget, and much hard work on Friendly fund-raising. The Committee continued its serious examination of such assets as God has entrusted to our care, and took additional steps toward actively shifting our treasury toward socially constructive investments consistent with Friends' testimonies. We met the challenge of meeting budget and also the extra financial obligation to the Refugee Settlement Committee.
Our State of the Meeting reports over the years have often shared a feeling of difficulty with geographic dispersion and ongoing outward tugs from worldly concerns on a day-to-day basis. The sense of community remains a concern. "One hour of worship and a cup of coffee once a week just don't make it," said one Friend about the state of our meeting.
Health and healing took on added significance for our meeting in 1995. Many of our members expressed concerns about health. Awareness increased on issues such as importance of diet, holistic medicine, "quality" of life rather than "quantity," and alternative paths to health and healing. In the community, issues of availability and affordability of health care and proper assessment of public priorities concerning health attracted the attention and participation of Friends. Can we learn more from increased reflection on the early Christian tradition of healing, even through miracles?
While we generally succeed at tending to each other's needs as they arise, visiting in times of crisis or illness, listening and caring and praying and loving, and offering assistance as we are able through committees or individually, it is also true that we too often miss some obvious opportunities. Some Friends feel that being "usually reliable" is a condition requiring improvement.
During 1995 the schedule for monthly meeting for worship with a concern for business was changed to have some meetings on Second Day evenings. This change was in response to the perceived need to alleviate stress from multiple commitments in the lives of Friends, especially on First Days.
Meeting for worship remains our spiritual core. If any part of our religious life remains constant, it is our commitment to quality of worship and spiritual ministry. We are careful not to become too focused on silence as a form. At the same time, Ministry and Counsel and Overseers have given much time and effort this past year to clearness in vocal ministry. Responding to ongoing expressions of concern, these committees concluded that careful avoidance of making any judgment can lead to postponement of necessary discernment concerning vocal ministry. We need to be willing to have our insights examined, and we need to be open to group leadings while understanding that discernment is not judgmental. We strive to quiet the intellect and submit completely to the will of the Holy Spirit in worship. We try to help all who join us to discover that worship is something deeper than words, and that in stillness there is a power known only by experience.
How has God dealt with us? Since last report, we have been challenged, and we have been vitalized. One testimony: "I have discovered I am not as independent as I would like to be, and I need help and need to be willing to accept help. This has been hard to get used to; but I feel blessed by the results: I have discovered how wonderful other people are and how much my friends and Friends love me. When Christ said the last shall be first and the weak shall be strong, I think he was speaking to me."
Where is God calling us, as a peculiar people? We can hear the voice of conscience, but we fear the consequences of listening without qualification and obeying completely. We think too much. We speak out against evil, but we moderate our statements with reason. We do volunteer work, but we still worry about the economic consequences of giving away too much of our time. We tolerate differences well, but we shy away from discernment. So we cannot be sure: are we truly tolerant, or simply passive to the point of nonaction?
As a faith community, Wilton Friends Meeting shares a difficulty common among Quakers. We find it easier to say what we are not, than to define what we are. The same faith that draws us to worship without words, also makes it difficult for us to write down what believe, in a way that we could hand it to someone outside the Society of Friends, and say: "This is where God is calling us."
Can we ever know where God is calling us as a peculiar people? "Thou art a lamp unto my feet." It is important to review our Quaker history periodically even as we explore new leadings, keeping a healthy tension between tradition and new paths.