Query 1: Are there some particular areas of meeting life which you consider a source of service to God and to each other? Can you describe those specific gifts and ministries which enable you to achieve those services?
Wilton Meeting continues to grow through a period of change. Membership continues to increase, and regular attenders offer more potential. The gifts and ministries that have helped us serve God in 1996 are diverse and ever-changing.
Wilton invests enormous energy into nurturing our children, following the long-standing Quaker tradition. In return, our spiritual lives are invigorated. The children are integral to our Meeting life and our sense of community hinges in great part on the inclusion of the children in all activities. Work days now have a tradition of pairing adults and children who share in the labor and completion of each job. First Day School has provided a regular focus for loving attention, attracting increased interest from young people and adults alike. Our creative First Day School Committee ensures a significant portion of the program focuses on Quaker history, Quaker role models, testimonies and living a Quakerly life. From this concern, parents attempt to create the right environment so children can practice Quaker living. This focus continues to energize the home schooling effort under the care of the Meeting, called Meeting for Learning, now in its third year. Meeting for Learning has in turn sensitized the Meeting to the question of "What is a Quaker education?" This past year after decades of a laissez-faire relationship, the Meeting committee that cares for our Nursery School is working actively with the staff to integrate Quaker principles into the Nursery School program while protecting the school's state licensing. Quaker education has become such an important part of the Meeting life that community-building events such as a canoe/camping trip drew over 30 participants.
Seekers meetings continued through the year, with positive feedback. The Seekers meetings are a source of inspiration to newcomers and oldcomers alike on spiritual journeys of myriad descriptions. Some wrote their spiritual autobiographies under the care of two weighty Friends in a series of evening meetings.
Meetings for Healing began and continue with learning through prayerful participation. A regular Meeting for Healing each month now provides a structured opportunity in holy expectation and prayer holding in the Light those who are in need.
Meeting began an exploration of the meaning of Gospel Order and carried this beginning into plans for an ongoing religious education program on this topic in 1997. In autumn 1996 we invited a member of NYYM's Ministry and Counsel to visit our Meeting and lead a well attended group discussion of discernment and eldering in the manner of Friends.
Weekly adult Bible Study, which emerged from the Seekers meetings, and then obtained added focus from Ministry and Counsel, has brought unexpected gifts to and from those attending. The group reports good fellowship and new Light in the pursuit of the Spirit through sacred writings; we hope and plan to build on these growing gifts.
Co-sponsoring a refugee family from Bosnia offered many opportunities for service. Working closely with two other congregations on a common quest proves how much we can accomplish when we ignore our differences and do God's work together. Since September, after one full year in the United States, this family is now on its own. The many gifts they have given us with their friendship are priceless, and they feel the same about our gifts to them.
Over 30 members and attenders from Wilton Meeting were part of Yearly Meeting at Silver Bay this year, up from just a few folks five years ago. The enthusiasm for this experience was carried home and shared by the whole Meeting. Participation on Yearly Meeting committees expands our understanding of Quakerism and creates bonds and opportunities beyond our small monthly meeting. In November we co-sponsored our Quarterly meeting at Amawalk and presented a spiritually challenging program witnessing to God's impact on our lives.
AVP remains a major focus for community outreach and for spiritual growth within our own Meeting and through connection with other Meetings.
By citing "particular areas of meeting life" which offer opportunities for service to God and to each other, we feel limited in our response to this query, because so many specific gifts are now in service, and so many ministries are vital to our spiritual life.
In many cases, subtle shifts and insights that at first appeared small have been connected to bigger results in ministry. For example, renaming our Peace and Service Committee "Peace and Social Action" blended smoothly with an increased focus on local needs in addition to larger national and worldwide problems. We support many outside organizations in the local community as well as wider Quaker bodies with influence around the world. Wilton Meeting submitted and approved a slightly revised received minute on restorative justice to Purchase Quarter, which approved it and sent it on to NYYM. The Peace and Social Action Committee also wrote a letter to local newspapers supporting the gay and lesbian community in its quest for equality.
Same-gender marriages under the care of the Meeting is a deeply felt concern by many. While we may not yet be ready to write a minute reflecting a Spirit-led sense of the Meeting, our "listening project" on this subject offered an important step into the discernment process. We are looking for ways to be sure all members and attenders can be heard on this vital topic, and we also pray for divine guidance while listening to human voices. We are proceeding slowly, remaining committed to listening carefully for leadings offered by God. We know that other Meetings have had great difficulty coming to unity on this "issue," and that our Yearly Meeting continues to struggle with it. There is no easy-to-follow precedent. We must trust the Quaker process that has served so well for three hundred fifty years.
Our committees are active, productive, and Spirit-led. Friends are ministering in that particular part of their world over which they can walk cheerfully.
Our Meeting was much more active this past year in pastoral care and healing, particularly in reaching out to friends faced with unexpected deaths and illnesses afflicting the young. In one case Meeting reached out to a member who eventually died of leukemia and to her extended family. We corresponded with her via the internet when she was in Seattle for several months of extended and experimental treatment culminating in a bone marrow transplant. Upon her return, Ministry and Counsel organized visits to her home for worship and to share meals. When she took a turn for the worse, we visited her bedside for worship on several occasions with her caretakers. Since her death her husband has been coming to Meeting for Worship regularly, offering an opportunity to provide spiritual comfort for him and for his mother, one of the member's caretakers near the end, who has also come to Meeting since then. The extended family's response to our loving concern has added to the enriching experience of being able to provide pastoral care. We believe that everyone in our Meeting, especially those who participated in the care, are blessed with spiritual gifts from this wonderful family.
Query 2: In caring for each other, your Meeting and the larger community through prayer and ministry, what sources of strength did you tap, what unplanned ways became open and what practical responses developed?
Our path toward learning more about Gospel Order began with a leading to know more about discernment. With help from Yearly Meeting through Leanna Goerlich of NYYM Ministry and Counsel, we were led to understand that Gospel Order is the necessary context for understanding discernment, and in this way we came to the NYYM resources on Gospel Order and launched our current adult religious education program using this medium, Spirit-led. In other matters such as Bible Study we came to understand that relying on our own humble gifts in our local Meeting can be more rewarding in some ways, such as community building, than would seeking more learned experts from outside our area.
Clearness committees have worked well, for membership as well as personal concerns. Again we have gained strength by experiencing how strong the gifts of our community can be when called into service. A variety of clearness committees for members and attenders offered gifts to us all: those seeking clearness and those serving on the committees.
An example of an unplanned door that was opened for us was the receipt of a minute on same-gender marriage from the Friends Lesbian and Gay Concerns committee of North America, which has led to much ongoing discussion, listening, and work on discerning God's will on this difficult topic.
Query 3: Are there other areas which challenged the life of the meeting to which you feel you were not able to respond with an adequate sense of Quaker testimony? What gifts and ministries did you seek to develop in these responses? How do you look to the future?
The Meeting is currently experimenting with starting Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business at the end of Meeting for Worship on First Day. That experiment is designed to help maintain the context of worship and to encourage greater participation by members and attenders in Business Meeting. Thus far, the experiment has increased attendance and will be continued.
Care might be taken to assure members and attenders that while attendance at Business Meeting is to be encouraged, attendance is not required. The reason for starting Business Meeting immediately following Meeting for Worship is to offer those who have other demands on their time an opportunity to participate in Business Meeting. It might also be acknowledged that Business Meeting can be spiritually taxing because views are exchanged, disagreement and uncertainty are common and some of the issues dealt with at Business Meeting are anxiety provoking.
That said, Quakers ought to be willing to attend Business Meeting and/or work to overcome whatever reservations they may have for not currently attending Business Meeting on a regular basis.
Wilton Meeting and its members and attenders may be trying to do too much. Some of our most caring, attentive members feel unable to keep up with all the opportunities (challenges) presented First Day after First Day. We must remember to keep looking for divine guidance, focus on our oneness, and keep to our center so that we do not waste our energies, while living a mindful life.
A tension has arisen at Wilton Meeting over the manner in which Minutes are introduced to Committees and to Business Meeting. An example of this situation arose when a minute on same-gender marriage sent to the Peace and Social Action Committee was brought to the Business Meeting for approval before the meeting as a whole was ready. Our concern is to prevent rushing into, or prompting for, a particular group decision which necessarily diminishes the power of theHoly Spirit to work creatively within the group. We need patience, more personal discipline, tolerance for humble or tentative conclusions, and more faith in Quaker process. At times the non-adoption of specific concerns can wrongly be construed as a failure to accept and embrace diversity.
Finally, there is occasional tension within our Meeting about the difference, if any, between judgment and discernment, judgment being "judgmental," a perceived negative, while discernment is "discerning," a perceived positive. Yet we believe that discernment is not judgmental. As we seek for deeper understanding of discernment within the context of Gospel Order in 1997, we hope to make progress on these questions.
Query 4. Are there other joys and concerns you would like to share?
We are blessed with many new members and attenders, and at the same time we miss the spiritual contributions of those who have died or moved away. Attendance at worship is strong in numbers. We strive to be true to the message on our signs: ALL WELCOME!